the great nothingness

Between Still and Flow

there’s this place

full of discomfort
where nothing happens

the void is full of empty
cavernous
displaced

It echos of abandonment and loss
hopelessness ricochets off the walls
pain and shame grafiitti mark my thoughts

the momentum of stopping
reverberates in my addicted to busy, unfilled mind
what am I doing
what is my purpose
I am left only with a quiet glow of existing
is that enough
am I enough
am I ok

in the still of the end
waiting for the beginning
the gaping stretch of nothingness
the roar of my pounding heart
reaching, grasping, longing

for something
anything
to fill the void

how still can I be
how long can I be still
resisting the urgency to fill, to flow, to go, to know

being human
human be-ing
doing no thing

identity death
future theft
only now and here
present in presence

people long for this quiet
they pay for this shit
a never ending sunset
going
slowly nowhere

timeless stillness immersion

suspended in the breaths of still

and when I really don’t know
when I really let go
when the stitched threads snap
and I wash up lungs first at undone

that is when I arrive
shadows howl at their release
memories spill the banks
emotions revel in their freedom

the silent flood is heard in the stillness
the eye of the storm being me
true wild nature set properly free

I don’t run
I don’t hide
it’s only me inside
meeting the me I have been waiting for

witnessing my own death
between stillness and my prayers founding the new coming flow

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Dancing Ghosts

Last week in my class we danced with the past, we invited our ghosts in to move us and to integrate into our being. I was so inspired after class this piece of writing flew out of me….

 

the past,
she’s outdone me
spun me
hung me out to dry

I’ve died one thousand deaths to be standing here alive

this night
I dance with my past
I honour her power
her vast history
crashing at my shore

I adore her
for the now I have become
embracing backwards
the past unfolds me
dancing ghosts
waltz me
I sing back to you, banshee souls
together we become one

I do not dwell
nor do I rebel

peacefully
passionately
gracefully
appreciatively

we dance entwined
my past and I
as time merges
enhancing her
meaning and purpose

warrior of light
laws of nature
all mighty
each activating cell radiating brightly

honour integration
we dance into the night
glorious ascension of light and life

Positive Reflection

Just found this on the internet whilst googling myself, as you do! I never knew it was videoed, let alone on line. I was presenting at an Arts in Health Conference, sharing some of the work I do with hospital staff and 5Rhythms. At the time I was quite harsh on myself as I find dancing much more my comfort zone than public speaking about dancing.  It felt like the audience wasn’t very responsive but seeing it now I can witness them engaging in the hand Wave and seemingly having some fun. It is always interesting to view oneself with perspective. Anyone else had an experience where post reflection was totally different to your memory of it at the time?

 

beauty in the bird song

I’m currently teaching the 5Rhythm element map in a series in my garden studio. I love this Mandala it’s one of my favourites as it bonds us directly and profoundly with nature. Being in relationship with nature helps me stay present. It is a meditation of its own. During our dance with Earth/Flowing last week I was gifted with a message to ‘see what was in front of me’. I am practicing this. Being truly present to where I am in each moment and really seeing what is around me, what is in front of my eyes right now. In doing so I have heard so much bird song. it is so beautiful and magical. In the Seeing I have received and deepened my Listening. How good is that? Nature loves it when we listen to her. Here’s a little clip inspired by this week of dancing, seeing and listening. I love the windy trees outside……

turning suffering into art

some days are just hard. after a heavy day of crying, writing, crying, dancing, crying, music mixing and crying some more this was the outcome of the day that fully helped me shift gears.

 

When we can’t dance

I cannot imagine living in a country where dance is illegal

Or being part of a family that rejects dance as a life choice. Or being told that dance is only for a person of a certain gender or body type or abilty. WTF?

Like me, I know for you too that dance is a saviour. She is my life partner and I never see that changing. I usually dance every day. It’s like taking vitamins. But as we all know, sometimes we slip up or lose routine, travel or distractions eventuate in some missed dosage and before we know it something has slipped, Oh Yeh, I haven’t been dancing! This time it was knee surgery. No dance for a month then minimal easy return to the dance floor over two months. That’s a lot of missed vitamins. Pacing myself is most definitely a practice requiring conscious patience, trust and surrender. I’m still a beginner! You know that feeling when you completely surrender yourself to the dance with your whole body, mind and spirit. I want that. I miss that. I ache for that. What I have learnt is to be grateful for the movement I do have and to be present to what is moving now and to release expectations of what a ‘proper’ dance is. Basic general ongoing life practice stuff with an opportunity to deepen my experience through my current situation.

Sometimes we have to really miss something to know how important it is to us. Each time we come to dance it is a sacred offering. A creative moment in our lives to reconnect deeply with our essence, our truth and renew our vows of self acceptance, forgiveness and love.

In whatever way we can move, we can dance. We don’t need to wait to be stronger, happier, healthier. We don’t need to wait for the right class, teacher, song. Being in our bodies right now as they are is a sacred act. Showing up for ourselves takes courage and discipline. When we can’t dance is the most holy time to dance.

Big Love x

 

Step in, Step up

It is not only our rite but our responsibility to take our place in the circle. Each of us belong and have an important position, for without us the circle would not be complete. Some of us shy away and play invisible whilst others of us present boldly and stridently. We each  believe we are meeting ourselves and the world with our best foot forward, however, both methods exclude others and isolate ourselves and are not serving the greater good.

Our Circles need to be round and balanced to be whole and powerful. They require each of us to be aware we are vital components of the universal cell.  When we isolate we are not doing our part for the whole circle of humanity. When we meet ourselves in our full truth and potential we are uniting human evolution to its fullest potential and expanding group consciousness circle by circle by circle. Whatever circles you are in, step up, stand clearly, for you have a place side by side your warriors, healers, players, makers and activators.

Each of us is responsible to stand as we are, who we are and fulfil our place in the circle. It is not just our rite but our responsibility.